I had a conversation with my Father recently and he mused that his best friend; a long time dear friend, didn't know the personal issues and struggles he experienced. He seemed saddened by this thought. I pushed the subject and asked if his friend knew of the troubles but not what was behind it all. He stated there was never a discussion with his friend about the thoughts and feelings experienced through it. I had to wonder if his sadness reflected the need to be heard perhaps understood by someone. I gathered that he felt the friendship lacked some defining acceptance and perhaps the friendship lacked truth due to the fact this person didn't really KNOW him, or maybe wouldn't accept all of him if given the opportunity. I told him that a good friend should know you; about you, but not in you. It's difficult for a person to know the you; in you without it affecting both parties perceptions. If a friend knows OF your difficulties, and remains strong by your side is it necessary to also have them inside your head with all of the troubling thoughts, intentions and feelings you endured? Frankly; I told him, If I personally didn't like experiencing it; and I am a true friend, why would I drag them through it as well? I continued my thought, to allow a person to truly see you is to obscure the pureness of the friendship. This was the completion of our discussion. I pondered this often since our debate, doubting myself, wondering if I got it wrong. I've concluded that each friendship has uniqueness, qualities that make it stronger and steadier. A true friendship needs loyalty, protection, nourishment and honesty and thus is a true treasure and needs to be valued as such.
